Jen (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} schultzybear) wrote,@ 2004-05-12 21:20:00 |
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The Woodfiber Lady
So I guess since Kevin keeps bugging me to write about The Wood-fiber Lady I will....(plus I kinda owe him since he actually wrote an ode to Karl's grandma!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)
Well, there is this lady that comes into my work every day...no one knows her name. She is just known as The Woodfiber Lady. She is about 4 foot 10 with short gray hair. SHe wears the same blue floural dress every day. She hunches over and walks with her hands folded together...a little bit like Mr. Burnes on the Simpsons....actually, exactly like that. She comes in, goes into the bathroom for 20 minutes to wash her hands. THen she comes out and orders a ham sandwich on sourdough with extra everything and no sprouts. She also gets a cup of ice water with two inches of lemonade. But she won't pay until AFTER she eats because there are woodfibers in her money. She thinks that she is allergic to them. And whenever she is there she uses all of out napkins. She spreads them all across her table and puts them all on her food. She gets up three times during her meal to go wash her hands. We aren't aloud to clean when she is there because she freaks out. One time this guy Brendan was using windex and the bottle tipped over. She picked up her sandwich and ran out the door into the middle of the parking lot. She didn't even go into a space or anything...just into the parking lot where anyone could just run her over. She stood there for five minutes while she finished her food. It was WAY random. I kind of feel bad for her sometimes though. I guess it is good that she is actually out functioning in the world.
The other day she was waiting for her food at the counter and we had Radiohead on. The guy I was working with, Chris, started asking her what she thought of them. It was funny because she was like, "oh! I love this band!" And then she was like, "Do you like Audioslave?" Chris was like, "They are ok." SHe was like, "Oh, I love Audioslave! But it is so funny because Audioslave sounds just like Soundgarden..." It was sooooooooooo hard for me not to laugh at this point. Chris was like. "Oh, that is because the lead singer is the same." She was all happy and then busted into song..."Now show me how to live....." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh, I wish that you could all meet the Woodfiber Lady....she cracks me up!
So I guess since Kevin keeps bugging me to write about The Wood-fiber Lady I will....(plus I kinda owe him since he actually wrote an ode to Karl's grandma!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)
Well, there is this lady that comes into my work every day...no one knows her name. She is just known as The Woodfiber Lady. She is about 4 foot 10 with short gray hair. SHe wears the same blue floural dress every day. She hunches over and walks with her hands folded together...a little bit like Mr. Burnes on the Simpsons....actually, exactly like that. She comes in, goes into the bathroom for 20 minutes to wash her hands. THen she comes out and orders a ham sandwich on sourdough with extra everything and no sprouts. She also gets a cup of ice water with two inches of lemonade. But she won't pay until AFTER she eats because there are woodfibers in her money. She thinks that she is allergic to them. And whenever she is there she uses all of out napkins. She spreads them all across her table and puts them all on her food. She gets up three times during her meal to go wash her hands. We aren't aloud to clean when she is there because she freaks out. One time this guy Brendan was using windex and the bottle tipped over. She picked up her sandwich and ran out the door into the middle of the parking lot. She didn't even go into a space or anything...just into the parking lot where anyone could just run her over. She stood there for five minutes while she finished her food. It was WAY random. I kind of feel bad for her sometimes though. I guess it is good that she is actually out functioning in the world.
The other day she was waiting for her food at the counter and we had Radiohead on. The guy I was working with, Chris, started asking her what she thought of them. It was funny because she was like, "oh! I love this band!" And then she was like, "Do you like Audioslave?" Chris was like, "They are ok." SHe was like, "Oh, I love Audioslave! But it is so funny because Audioslave sounds just like Soundgarden..." It was sooooooooooo hard for me not to laugh at this point. Chris was like. "Oh, that is because the lead singer is the same." She was all happy and then busted into song..."Now show me how to live....." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh, I wish that you could all meet the Woodfiber Lady....she cracks me up!
